Your freshman is easily distracted. It doesn’t take much to derail their focus. Even though you’re not there at college, you know that this lack of focus is likely a contributing factor to their poor grades.

You can’t monitor their behavior, tracking down their every move. (You really don’t have that kind of time.) You could offer threats—like not paying a cell phone bill—but this probably will cause a strain on your parent-child relationship. You may be unsure what you actually can do.

As a teacher, I see distracted students all the time. While I could easily argue that the cause is instant access to technology and communication, this blog isn’t the space for fully developing this argument (and I’ve written some related posts before.)

One of the biggest things that can help your distracted freshmen is narrowing down their focus to what matters. As simple as it sounds, these 3 basics can help your freshman learn how to focus and motivate them to focus.

Enforce deadlines.

Deadlines are the end of the line. The line shouldn’t continue. While there should be grace extended if the situation calls for it, most situations simply require an enforced deadline.

As a teacher, finding the balance between enforcing deadlines and being understanding can be difficult, especially during a pandemic. More than anything finding the right balance can be exhausting, but I know ultimately that enforcing deadlines helps my students to know what is expected of them.

Having clear expectations and communicating those expectations is important for your freshman. Because so much is unknown or uncertain in their stage of life, having clear guidelines gives them one less thing to think about. Even if they dislike you enforcing deadlines, this can help your freshman to aim at a clear target.

Freshmen who struggle to focus need clear deadlines to give them focus. Rather than jumping from one task to the next, deadlines help them have a clear picture of what is due when. There is no fuzzy, unknown future. They know what is expected of them and can learn to set priorities accordingly.

Allow consequences to occur.

If your freshman doesn’t turn in financial paperwork by a deadline, let them suffer the consequences (even if it costs them money they don’t have). If your freshman gets placed on academic probation, allow this to occur without any protests from you. Allowing natural consequences to occur helps your freshman understand an important reality—they are not the exception.

As a college instructor, I have students who consistently argue they have a good reason for not getting work done or showing up to class. (While there certainly are students who require special exceptions, they aren’t in the majority.) They always have an excuse. They always have an explanation ready to go.

After time and time again of turning in work late or being too ill to come to class, I quickly start doubting their stories. One of the best things I can do for this kind of student is stick a zero in the gradebook or penalize a participation grade and move on. Though these students don’t like this, they’re more likely to focus in class and get work in when it’s due.

Helping your freshman focus on what matters starts with helping them realize what matters. Your freshman won’t grasp what matters if they rarely (or never) experience the full consequences of their lack of focus.

Concentrate on them when you’re with them.

Your freshman mimics you. If you’re distracted when talking on the phone with them or visiting them, your freshman will pick up on this and imitate you. They’re not likely to show you more respect than you show them.

If I want my students to focus in class, I need to focus when I’m talking to them. If I want my freshman to give me their full attention, I need to give my full attention to them.

Focus many argue is one of the rarest commodities these days. Helping your freshman invest their focus wisely starts with going back to the basics. You can’t focus for them, but you can help them see why focus matters.