You want your freshman to succeed academically, but you know that she needs to take responsibility for her classes. How can you avoid coming across as nagging?

As a college parent, this is a constant struggle. Your freshman may often think she has it more together than she does. Helping someone who sometimes thinks she knows a little more than she does is difficult to say the least.

Carefully approach your freshman and ask questions that cause her to think about these three concepts!

Ask your freshman about academic goals.

Switching to online classes is stretching and challenging your child in ways she maybe didn’t anticipate. But without a clear goal, your freshman’s academics efforts will be aimless, unmotivated, and most likely lacking.

College classes amid the coronavirus is difficult, so survival may realistically be your freshman’s goal. While this may be best for some freshman, your freshman may be capable of doing much more than surviving.

On the other hand, earning a 4.0 this semester is not likely realistic. This change to online classes means your overly perfectionistic freshman may need to be satisfied with earning an occasion average grade on an assignment.

How can you help then? Ask questions that provoke her thinking like the following:

• What do you want to accomplish this semester?

• What class do you think needs to be your priority?

• How can you make the most of learning online?

Ask your freshman about academic deadlines.

Caution: if you are not careful, your freshman may become very defensive or quickly frustrated. Asking questions about deadlines may immediately evoke a defensive response from your stressed freshman who is prone to procrastination.

Deadlines are stressful, especially when your freshman feels little motivation to work on school. However, reminders about deadlines can sometimes make your freshman feel worse, so do your best to avoid giving reminders.

If you should avoid deadline reminders, what questions can help your freshman remember deadlines? Try asking general questions like these:

• Is this a busy week for you?

• Do you have a lot of school work coming due this week?

• Do you have any big upcoming assignments?

Ask your freshman about academic strategy.

Strategy may be the last thing on your freshman’s mind. If your freshman is not a planner by nature, she likely puts off assignments and likes to pull all-nighters. If your freshman is a planner, she likely has a step-by-step process ready to go.

Both kinds of students may be struggling living home again while doing college. The freshman who prefers to fly by the seat of her pants is likely struggling to pull herself together like she used to at college. The freshman who loves schedules and planners is also likely struggling to stay motivated.

How can you help? Ask questions that cause her to think positively and plan for reality like these:

• How do you think you’ll complete that big assignment by _________?

• What do you think will be the best way to finish that assignment?

• What are your plans for studying ahead?

While your questions may fall on deaf ears, your freshman will be forced to put her ideals into actual words. Additionally, she has the added benefit of accountability (now that she has expressed her plans to you). Your questions may make the difference this semester!