Expectation: You will go home for Thanksgiving break and everything will be the same. You will eat delicious, homemade and (more importantly) free food. You will get to sleep 10 hours everyday in your own bed uninterrupted by a roommate. It will be heavenly.

Reality: You will go home for Thanksgiving break to find that things and people have changed. You will eat delicious, homemade and free food. You will get to sleep in some days but probably not for 10 hours and maybe not even in your own bed. You will not be able to go and come as you wish. You will have to adjust to living with your family again.

So, what should you expect when going home for Thanksgiving break? Expect change. Prepare yourself for break by anticipating these 4 things.

4 Things to Expect on Thanksgiving Break

1. Your family has changed.

Brian L Watkins, director of parent and family affairs at the University of Maryland, explained that when college students leave for college they take a mental picture of how things are. When they return, “they expect to walk through the door and pick up right where they left off. They don't expect anything to change."

The reality is that your family has changed, just like you have. Your siblings will probably have changed substantially. They have adjusted to you being gone at school, and they may feel weird that you are back home now.

For example, if you are the oldest, the next youngest sibling has had to step up. This sibling has had to function as the oldest child. With you coming home, your siblings may struggle with you being the oldest one—the leader. You may have some tense situations or conversations, because you are used to being in charge but aren’t really anymore.

Sometimes coming home can be slightly awkward. Your parents and siblings have changed so much that they’re not sure quite how to explain it all. If they’re talkers, they may want to catch up, chatting for hours. But if they’re not talkers, they may not know how to update you on all the new happenings.

Personally, I’ve been on the family side of college students coming home many times. When my older siblings would come home from college, I felt like I had so much to tell them. But when they actually came home for break, I literally had no idea what to say. I couldn’t really think of anything big or important to share, so I often felt kind of uncomfortable.

Be aware your family has changed. They may not have shared some of these changes with you yet, but they’ve changed. They may tell you some information that you weren’t expecting or don’t like (e.g. your younger brother now lives in your room), but be willing to be flexible, helpful and understanding.

2. Your family thinks you haven’t changed.

This part of coming home can be slightly aggravating at times. You’ve changed so much. You might not feel like you’re the same person, but in your family’s eyes you still are the same person who left for college a few months ago.

While it’s understandable, this can be frustrating for you. If you use to be sloppy, unorganized or socially awkward, you may feel aggravated that your family still sees you this way. But remember, they haven’t been with you the last few months. They haven’t seen how much you’ve changed.

For example, if you use to take long showers, your family may still think that you will “waste all the hot water” and tease you about it. Yes, you used to be like this, but you’ve changed. You take shorter showers now, but they will still mention it to you. They might think it’s funny, but you probably are tired of hearing it. You’re not that way anymore.

Your parents in particular may have a hard time adjusting to you being home. Your mom may constantly remind you of things—“don’t forget to do this or get that.” Your dad may ask you about your grades or money. Just remember, this comes out of a good place—love. They’re still adjusting to the idea of you being an independent adult.

The relatives you may see over break may constantly hound you about your dating life or future plans. This constant questioning can be overwhelming, so go ahead and think through what your answers will be. Be prepared to answer all the embarrassing and nosy questions, because they will probably be asked.

3. Your high school friends have changed.

Jenna Johnson, staff writer at the Washington Post, points to Thanksgiving break as being the first time that most freshmen get to catch up with high school friends. Most students will learn that that “those friendships have changed.” Sadly this is true.

When you go to college, your high school friends change too. Some of them may have stayed home and worked or have gone to another college. They’ve been experiencing the many growing pains as well. They’ve felt the loneliness of college, the stress of school and maybe other things you have no idea about. They’ve changed as people, so expect some transition.

You may find that you have nothing in common anymore, or you just don’t connect anymore. This is completely ok. You’re growing and changing, but so are they. Your friendships will change. It’s just part of adulthood.

This also is a time that the “turkey drop” happens—many students end a high school or college relationship. If you have a relationship with someone back home, know that dating over long-distance may have put an irreversible strain on your relationship.

For example, your boyfriend may have started developing feelings for someone else. You may have started noticing other guys at college too. Both of these things are very common for a college freshman, so be prepared to talk these things out.

Sometimes coming home from college provides a different perspective about your new college relationship. You may realize that person is not a good fit for you or would never fit in with your family. Allow yourself some time to reflect and rest. Extra time, space and sleep do wonders.

4. You think of college as home too.

While you can’t wait to go home, eat homemade food, and sleep in your own bed, be prepared for some adjustment. You may be shocked to read this, but college has started to become home to you. It has.

You learned to enjoy the privileges of being independent from your family. You were able to stay out late and get up late. You were able to hang out with friends whenever you wanted and for however long you wanted. Coming back home will be different.

You probably will still have a curfew. You probably will be asked to help out around the house or to transport people places. Your parents will have certain expectations of you, so be aware and available.

Your parents or siblings may want to fill up your time with fun or busy activities. You probably won’t be able to sleep in as much as you like. And (this is important), you probably won’t get any school work done, so don’t plan on it.

You won’t be able get caught up in math or English, so don’t take all those textbooks home with you. At the most, you may be able to do a few hours of work. But this break will be a good chance to give your brain a rest.

Expect that things will be different. You’ve changed; your family has changed; and life in general has changed. So, don’t be shocked if it takes you a few days to adjust to life at home. Relax and allow yourself to enjoy this time away from college.