What Do I Do if My Child Wants to Drop Out of College?
According to Melanie Hanson in an article for Education Data, approximately 30% of college freshmen drop out before their sophomore year.
Research from the National Center for Education Statistics identified approximately 37% of students who start a 4-year college graduate in 4 years.
Jeffrey Selingo, a Washington Post contributor, points to universities' efforts to retain students as improving this number to above 50%.
Though the number of college dropouts has slightly improved over the past few decades, the number still seems high but not when you look on the social media platform run by teens and college students—TikTok.
Video after video show freshmen recapping their first week of college.
Sadly, many of these videos show a student crying and then admitting to dropping out and going home.
If your child is one of these freshmen who are considering dropping out, you may be struggling to know what to say or how to guide them. So what should you be doing?
Below are 3 feelings that are normal for your new college freshman to experience and tips on how to help!
3 Normal Feelings New College Freshman Experience
Loneliness
Moving to a new place with new people and new social rules is intimidating.
Upperclassmen seem to have “all together.” They know where they’re going and what they’re doing.
High school friends now at other colleges seem to have a friend group already. Videos and pictures of attending parties with new friends only make your freshman feel like they’re missing out.
What’s wrong with your freshman? Nothing. Seriously, nothing.
Making new friends in a new place takes time. Making meaningful and lasting friendships takes even more time, but anything worthwhile takes time.
Homesickness
There’s no place like home.
Your freshman feels they’ll never belong at college and they’ll always feel like a visitor.
Seeing and hearing about events they’re missing out only makes this feeling of not belonging stronger.
In an article for Psychology Today, Dr. Carl Pickhardt shares that students who especially excelled in college may experience a heightened homesickness due to not standing out as popular, smart, etc. anymore.
“Growing up,” Prickhardt explains, “requires giving up, and one of the hardest parts of home life to give up is letting go the easy company and constant availability of high school friends” and comforts of home life.
These feelings will fade and their new reality will settle in, but this process will take time.
Self-Doubt
Does your freshman really have what it takes? They’re wondering this too.
Strong feelings of self-doubt may come in the first few weeks. They’ll likely accompany a poor grade on an assessment, an embarrassing social situation, or a run-in with a roommate or friend.
In these times, your freshman will be tempted to compare themselves with other students, older siblings, or strangers on the internet.
In these times, your freshman will wonder how they got into college in the first place and if they can possibly survive their classes.
College will be a challenge, but their college wouldn’t have accepted them if they weren’t capable. Your freshman may not earn great grades at first, but they’ll discover areas where they can keep growing and master new skills. This process will take time.
For tips on how to help your freshman face failure, read this post.
If your child is thinking about dropping out, ask them about how they’re feeling and why they might be feeling that way.
Consider if these feelings are normal and may pass if your child gives it a semester.
Then, work with your freshman to make the best decision for both you and your freshman.