“This wasn’t what I expected,” you might be thinking. Hollywood and social media make college look one way, but your experiences so far are proving to be much different. You might feel out of it or unsure of how to handle these new experiences that are unlike anything you expected.

Before arriving to college, you probably heard people talk about the “freshman experience” or “first-year experience.” But no orientation or seminar could’ve fully prepared you for what you’re experiencing now. As you start this transition into your college years, be careful you don’t believe these lies about the college freshman experience.

#1. College is the best time of your life.

I cringe now when I hear people say this, but before experiencing college for myself I was unaware just how untrue this statement is. College is not the best time of your life nor is it the worst time of your life. College is a time in your life.

The reality is that your first year of college will be filled with challenges. You will change in so many ways: in the way you think, in the way you work, and in the way you socialize. You will not be constantly surrounded by friends. Sometimes you will feel downright lonely.

College is merely a stage in your life. Just like you had to adjust from middle school/junior high to high school, so you will have to adjust from high school to college. You will make mistakes, struggle to get through some days, and feel stressed about academics and social aspects. However, you will learn how to make your own choices, recover from your own mistakes, and conquer your greatest challenges.

#2. College is about grades and classes.

False! College is different from high school in that your school experience is about much more than school. Your grades and classes do matter, but they are merely one part of the many parts of college. College includes many aspects outside of academics.

My freshman year I was obsessed with my grades. Looking back, I deeply regret the laser-like focus I had on earning all As. I missed out on valuable opportunities all because I spent almost all of my time studying for classes.

You certainly should dedicate the time to doing well in classes. You should spend much of your time studying. You should work hard to keep improving your grades. But studying shouldn’t be the only thing you do.

Your college freshman experience should include meeting new people, exploring new places, trying new hobbies, and discovering who you are and want to become. It should also include doing homework, studying throughout the day, and meeting with teachers to get help. College is about the whole you, not just the student part of you.

#3. College classes freshman year are much harder than high school classes.

Your high school may have had very tough academics, and you learned how to excel even in the most difficult classes. What you will find in college is that most of your classes are not incredibly harder than your high school classes. In fact, sometimes your classes are easier.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t study or that you should study less overall. I am saying that you may be surprised to find that your first year classes are probably not much more difficult than high school. Know that you are capable of doing well in your classes. You do belong at college, and you deserve to be at your school.

While the classes may not be much harder, having to manage your time for yourself is harder. In high school, your schedule was structured for you. You went from classroom to classroom, because a predetermined schedule controlled your day. In college, you have more control over your schedule. You determine what you do when your classes are done. You control most of your day.

Having control over your time is freeing! Finally, you get to have complete say over when you socialize, when you eat, when you go to bed, how much Netflix you binge, and more. However, the downside is also that you have complete say over all of these things. You don’t have someone there to say, “you should do __________ instead” or “remember you have a test tomorrow in _________.” 

You are capable of doing very well in college classes, but you have to determine to spend your time well. You have to learn to say “no” to parties you really want to go to or say “yes” to studying for another 30 minutes. You can do this!

#4. College is mostly parties and partying.

For most college students, college is not mostly about parties or partying. Movies and social media are misleading, because most of your time at college will not be spent socializing. You will find you spend a decent amount of time by yourself.

Yes, you will have opportunities to go to parties. Yes, you meet people and make friends. However, you will spend most of your days studying and completing assignments. This shouldn’t be a depressing fact, because when you consider how much college costs you would hope you would get your money’s worth.

Additionally, you may find that college parties are also not your scene. Not everybody enjoys the is atmosphere. There is nothing wrong with you. You may just be a small group person or a one-on-one person, so being in large groups makes you feel tired or uncomfortable. Don’t feel like you have to give in to peer pressure. Don’t be something you’re not to get approval from people you’re not sure you even like.