Before and After: Spring Break From Your Freshman's Perspective
While you were a college freshman once too, you might forget what your first college spring break was like. Your freshman is experiencing spring break as a college student for the first time. His experiences and expectations may not be the same as yours.
How can a college parent help spring break be a good experience? Understanding your freshman’s perspective informs you as your freshman faces his first spring break. Learn what your freshman is experiencing before and after break and how you can help!
What is your freshman experiencing before spring break?
In the weeks leading up to spring break, your freshman has been pushing hard academically. He has been pushing through lack of motivation, feelings of being overwhelmed, and social pressures.
Your freshman may have unrealistic expectations that he has or has not communicated to you yet. What should you know about your freshman’s status before spring break? First, your freshman is physically spent. The many all-nighters, late-night runs for food, and binge-watching quickly catch up with your child. His physical stamina is decreasing as the semester continues.
Second, your freshman is mentally burnt out. At the halfway point of second semester, your freshman is longing for the finish line. Classes have continued to become more challenging. Professors may expect slightly more from a second semester student, even if yours is just a freshman.
Third, your freshman is without motivation. Many students continue to push through until spring break. Their lack of care for their physical health may have led to foggy thinking, poor decision-making, and an apathetic attitude towards coursework. Your freshman can barely get himself to complete his daily work, much less get caught up or work ahead.
Fourth, your freshman is looking forward to time away from college. Your freshman has little personal space at college. In his crowded dorm room, he rarely has time to himself. The pressure of assignments weighs on him daily. He rarely has an empty inbox or a completed to do list. Spring break, he hopes, will be a time when he can temporarily escape the social and academic pressures of college.
Fifth, your freshman is anticipating time with friends. As much as you love your college freshman, he is excited about the possibility of spending time with his friends without having to worry about completely assignments, papers, and projects. He can finally spend time with them without looking at the clock.
What is your freshman experiencing after spring break?
In the last few days of spring break, your freshman may seem “off.” Though his time away from school has been enjoyable, that doesn’t mean he is excited about going back to college. He has to return back to his reality.
The weight of grades, finances, roommates, etc. are starting to return. Your freshman not just returning to college but also to some of the busiest weeks in the entire school year. You feel similarly after the holidays, but your freshman has less experience adjusting back and forth.
What should you know about your freshman’s status after spring break? First, your freshman is anticipating the trip back to college. If you live far away from your child’s campus, your freshman’s trip back to school can be exhausting. Traveling hours in a cramped car with other equally miserable students is not how your freshman wanted to spend the last day of spring break. As the vehicle reaches closer and closer to college, the pressures start to return.
Second, your freshman is thinking about the work to come. With almost half of the semester left, your freshman is dreading the daily routine and grind. He enjoyed his freedom during spring break and probably dreads the work to come.
Third, your freshman is missing his independence. If your freshman spent most of his spring break at home, he probably missed the freedom and autonomy he has while in college. Your child likes to have control over how, when, and where of his daily schedule.
Fourth, your freshman is dreading interacting with people at college. Your child may be apprehensive about dealing with his roommates, classmates, peers, and teachers again. He enjoyed time and space from all of them, but returning to college means returning to those people too.
Fifth, your freshman is realizing how uncertain his summer plans are. With summer break only months away, your freshman may be suddenly aware that he has given little thought to his summer plans. Should he find work or an internship? Will he live at home? Does he need to take online courses? The nearness of the upcoming summer may be scaring him.
How can a college parent help?
College parents may experience a mix of frustration and hurt. Your freshman’s immature behavior and attitude are incredibly frustrating, but his desire to be away from home over spring break may also make you feel slightly hurt.
Know that your freshman’s desire to be away from home is not personal. Your freshman may merely want to spend some time with his friends without the pressure of college courses. During the school year, he has learned that he has to limit his social time if he wants to do well academically. This constant awareness of the time causes time socializing to feel less relaxing and enjoyable.
If your freshman does go away for spring break, encourage him to make wise and safe decisions. Spring break can be a time filled with partying and drinking. Urge him to think through his choices carefully, because small mistakes can have big repercussions in the long run.
Know that your freshman needs this time to recuperate. College is stressful, and your freshman does need to learn how to take breaks. If your freshman is coming home for spring break, try to be considerate in two ways. One, give your freshman space. If your child normally has to share a room, consider giving him the room for the week. Be careful not to force family activities on him, because he may just need some time alone. Two, allow your freshman to catch up on sleep. Realistically, he will not replenish his entire sleep deficit, but he can get more sleep at home.
Know that your freshman may want and need some help finding work for the summer. While you should always ask before offering, your freshman may be hesitant to initiate a conversation about finding a job for the summer. Try to ask him questions that will help him narrow down his options, and then connect him with professionals you know personally.
Post-college life does not include spring breaks. While you experienced spring break as a college student, try not to assume your freshman is experiencing the same feelings or has the same expectations. You can do much to help this time be a much needed break from college!
