What Every College Parent Should Know About the End of the Semester
You thought that you were done with taking school exams, but you feel like you’re taking them all over again. Your freshman is the one taking the exams this time, but you can’t help but feel some of that end-of-the-semester panic. You may even feel slightly helpless watching your child struggling to make it to the finish line.
How can college parents help their kids finish the semester well? With only a few weeks left to the semester, your child may be struggling. What should you know about these last weeks? If you want to help your freshman, be aware of these 5 pressures facing your freshman.
5 Pressures Freshmen Face at the End of the Semester
1. Be aware of your freshman’s time.
Out of care and concern you may want to call your freshman frequently. The end of the semester, however, is when your freshman has the least amount of time. Your child feels pressured about the limited time left to finish her classes.
Maybe your freshman has struggled to manage her time well. At this point, her lack of time management skills is catching up to her. Even the best of freshmen is struggling to stay focused and get her work done, because thanksgiving break provided a taste of freedom from classwork. She’s probably having some difficulty getting back into the college routine.
As a parent, try to remove time-consuming family tasks. For example, maybe Christmas gift exchanges are a big part of your family traditions. Do not be frustrated with your college freshman for waiting until break to do all her Christmas shopping. She is incredibly busy with exams and other end of the semester activities.
If you live close to your child, encourage her to stay at school until the end of the semester. She should be concentrating all her time and energy on finishing her courses well.
2. Be aware of your freshman’s conduct.
As a former resident assistant, I was heartbroken to see college students dismissed from college due to misconduct. Your freshman has worked so hard this semester. It would be such a waste of her effort and time for her to be expelled at this point.
One of the ways this frequently occurs is by being “at the wrong place at the wrong time.” End of the semester parties can be especially tempting. Discourage your freshman from attending parties with alcohol or drugs present. Even if your child doesn’t partake, there is always a chance that things could get out of hand. Staying out too late can also encourage poor-decision making. Besides, your freshman needs to savor every moment of sleep possible.
Cheating or plagiarizing are usually expellable offenses. Emphasize the importance of your child earning her grade for herself. Cheating on a paper, quiz, test or project truly robs your freshman more than anybody else. So, it’s not worth it.
College friendships and relationships are often strained at the end of the semester. Lack of sleep and stress makes saying hurtful or unthoughtful things easier. Conflict often arises from someone saying something in haste and hurting someone else’s feelings. A misunderstanding can easily be blown out of proportion.
For example, your freshman’s friend gets her feelings hurt by a passing comment your child made. The friend then spreads hurtful gossip about your child. Your child hears from another friend about the gossip. As a result, many people get their feelings hurt and much time and energy is wasted on preventable conflict.
Long term decisions should not be made based on short term feelings. Encourage your freshman to abide by the law and college policies. You would hate for all your freshman’s efforts (not to mention tuition money) to be thrown out the window.
3. Be aware of your freshman’s health.
At a certain point in the semester, the little sleep your child is getting will not be enough. Even if your child could sleep 10 hours each night, she would still feel exhausted. It’s the end of the semester, and she just has to push on through to winter break.
Your freshman is not only sleep deprived but may also be battling sickness. Maybe it’s the common cold, stomach sickness or the flu. Whatever it is, your freshman is too sleep-deprived to fight off the sickness. So, she needs to do whatever she can to finish strongly.
Do what you can to help your child manage her health. Encourage her to go the doctor if she’s sick. Send her a care package with tissues, cough syrup, cough drops, soup, etc. Encourage her to go to bed as soon as she can rather than staying up talking with friends. Encourage her to exercise, even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day. This will help her fight sickness and have stamina.
If your child doesn’t take care of her body, her mind will struggle to focus on and study for classes. When in doubt, tell your freshman take a short nap. Sleep does miraculous things.
4. Be aware of your freshman’s stress.
Your freshman may be feeling so stressed that she doesn’t even know quite how to express it. She may call you crying. As a parent, you may feel helpless. But, there are some things you can do to help.
Send letters in the actual mail or a care package with snacks for studying. Your freshman will always appreciate gift cards to coffee shops, gas stations or Walmart. Help your freshman manage her stress well by reminding her that you care more about her effort than earning an A.
Let her fight her own battles when confronted with a frustrating class or professor. When she calls to “vent,” ask questions instead of providing answers. Don’t solve her problems for her, because she can do it. Your child may just need some guidance.
By taking care of her health, your freshman will better handle stress. So (as mentioned in #3), encourage her to eat well, get sleep and exercise daily. Although skipping a meal might provide 15 extra minutes to study, eating a nutritious meal will make more of a difference.
Your child needs to learn how to manage stress, because it’s part of adulthood. You can help her by encouraging a healthy lifestyle. You don’t have to sit helplessly on the sidelines.
5. Be aware of your freshman’s grades.
A major source of your freshman’s stress is probably grades. Maybe your child suddenly figured out she’s barely passing a class or that she’s failing a class. In any case, your freshman is worried about her grades.
As a parent, you can’t do the work for your freshman. Your freshman may be tempted to throw in the towel. Don’t let her! Your freshman may be tempted to cheat. Remind her that she is robbing herself and stealing from others. On the other hand, your freshman may be in denial. She may blame her grades on someone else. Remind her that she earned those grades.
This semester has been a huge learning curve for your freshman. She has had to adjust academically and socially to college life. It has been challenging. Sometimes providing some perspective can help. Remind your freshman how much she struggled during week one of school and how much better she is doing now. Even though she’s still far from “having it all together,” she’s much closer than she was that first week of college.
Remind her that the process is more important than the product. The process of learning, dealing with failure and adjusting to teachers is valuable, even if she doesn’t get that B.
One final thought: Avoid giving external incentives for good grades. This isn’t elementary school anymore. Your freshman needs to get good grades based on self-motivation, not a prize. If you give out rewards for good behavior, you set up your child to be disappointed in her career when no one rewards her for doing her job.
Your freshman is so close to finishing, but you’re not sure she’ll make it. You can help with this end-of-the-semester push by being aware of your freshman’s time, conduct, health, stress and grades. Help your freshman thrive, not just survive.
