How Do I Mentally Prepare for College?
While sitting on my porch yesterday, I noticed a small bird building its nest.
It carefully selected specific sticks to carry up to its nest.
Sometimes it selected sticks a little too big or oddly shaped. These sticks fell to the ground below.
Rather than giving up, the bird adapted its approach or strategy to selecting possible materials for its nest and kept working.
This little scene struck me as unusual.
If I was faced with an equally difficult task that I failed again and again, I probably would’ve given up or switched tasks in defeat, but this bird was deterred.
“I’d like to become better at failing” was not my approach to starting college.
As a perfectionist, high-achiever, I wanted to “ace” my first year of college…literally.
Though I’m far removed from my freshman year of college and now have taught college freshmen, I wish I could go back in time and reinforce the importance of failure to my freshman self.
When high school graduates face the start of college, they often take a few different approaches that can make or break their ability to fully benefit from their first year of college.
Below are three general approaches to the start of college:
Failure isn’t an option.
I don’t care if I fail college.
I think I’m going to fail college.
Approach #1: Failure isn’t an option.
Many freshmen approach college expecting to earn perfect grades, to instantly make lifelong friends, to click on a deep level with their roommates, etc.
Achieving less than these goals then feels like a sign they’re not cut out for college or they're doing something wrong.
FALSE.
College is full of trial-and-error experiences.
Having a breezy first semester probably might be a sign that maybe your classes are too easy or that you’re not challenging yourself enough.
Approach #2: I don’t care if I fail college.
Maybe high school was easy for you.
Maybe you passed through your high school years with little effort.
Whatever your high school experience, you might be approaching college with a shrug or an “eh” attitude.
While college doesn’t need to be the best years of your life, these years can be a chance for you to live up to your potential.
Often those who claim to be apathetic about failing college are secretly terrified of trying and failing. (If they don’t try, then they never really fail at anything.)
They can claim if they tried they’d be great, but the reality is that they don’t try so they don’t really know that’s true.
College is the perfect place to try and fail. It is.
With a fresh start, you don’t have the pressure of disappointing others or upholding a past reputation.
You get to figure out what you’re capable of for yourself.
Approach #3: I think I’m going to fail college.
If you’re a pessimist or someone who struggles with low self-esteem, this may be the approach you take to most things in life.
“What if I fail college?”
Life is full of “what ifs.” You don’t have to adopt a blindly optimistic approach to college to benefit from it, but you need to allow yourself some room to fail, recalibrate, and try again.
Failing is more than okay. It’s something you should anticipate without thinking less of yourself.
When you think back to some of the biggest lessons you’ve learned, you probably think of difficult challenges you faced and overcame.
Maybe you had to try and try again for a few years, but eventually you figured it out and became a stronger person as a result.
