Lies High School Graduates Believe, Pt. 2
Graduating from high school is incredibly exciting. One door is closing, and another door is opening. College is only months away, and you may already feel like a different person.
Last week I shared 6 lies that high school graduates believe. This week I would like to share 4 more lies. High school graduates can easily believe these lies about their identity, their past, and their future. Don’t be deceived when heading into this exciting time of life. Use this summer to help you prepare your mindset for the journey ahead!
View the first 6 lies here!
Lie #7: College will be the best time of your life.
This is one of the biggest lies high school graduates believe. Intentionally or unintentionally, many college graduates spread this lie. When reminiscing about college or “the good old days,” they tend to communicate the idea that college was the best time of their lives.
Let me go ahead and tell you: college will probably not be the best time of your life. College can be fun, exciting, and wonderful at times, but it will probably not be the best time in your entire life. Believing this lie can put tremendous (and unnecessary) pressure on you. How can debunking this lie help you?
First, you avoid disappointment. When you come to college with the mindset that college is “as good as it gets,” you set yourself up for being disappointed. Sometimes life at college is extremely stressful, tiring, and uncertain. College is not all sunshine and flowers, but it is a small picture of adult life. Just like life before college, your experiences in college will include ups and downs. Some days will be wonderful, others will be long and difficult.
Second, you create realistic expectations. Anticipate that life at college will have positives and negatives. On the positive side, you will have more independence, freedom, and autonomy. You will truly be able to make choices on your own. On the negative side, you will have more independence, freedom, and autonomy. (Notice how these lists are exactly the same.) Dad or mom can no longer bail you out of a tough situation. Your choices are yours, not theirs. The consequences rest on your shoulders.
Third, you learn to enjoy each day. Rather than anticipating a date or an event, you can focus on enjoying each day. The excitement of college doesn’t have to take away from your life right now. Each day is a gift, which you will never experience again. Even if you’d rather be heading to college next week, you can make the most of life before college. You will never get to relive this time, so enjoy it!
Lie #8: You are automatically more mature after graduating from high school.
Graduating from high school is elating. You feel on top of the world and unstoppable, but sometimes this excitement can give way to this lie: you are more mature now. Unfortunately, graduating from high school does not automatically make you mature.
In reality, you are just beginning this journey into adulthood. You have much to learn. The older you become, the wiser your parents or mentors will seem. Your high school graduation is the start of the rest of your life, not the arrival point.
How can you enjoy the excitement of graduation without falling into the trap of this lie? First, celebrate your graduation. You should be excited to be done with high school. You’ve worked hard, sacrificed, and pushed on—even when you didn’t feel like it. You should celebrate this achievement.
Second, acknowledge your graduation for what it is: a stop on the journey. Graduation is one stop in the journey of your life. It is not an arrival point or the destination. You have many exciting stops on the journey ahead, so don’t forget that this is one of the many.
Third, express gratitude to those who helped you graduate. What teacher has impacted you to study your major? What parent has encouraged you when you felt like giving up? What friend has stayed by your side when you made a foolish decision? Refuse to forget these people! They helped you get to where you are today. You didn’t get here on your own, so be sure to give credit to whom credit is due.
Fourth, maintain a teachable attitude. You’ve learned so much in high school. You know more now than you did before high school, but you still have more to learn. Be open to advice from others. Be willing to learn, even when you think you already know the answer. Be willing to listen to others, even when you dislike what they have to say. You may be surprised by what they have to share, and they may have wisdom from which you will benefit.
Lie #9: You deserve more respect from those around you.
You feel like you deserve to be treated differently. After all, you’re not in high school anymore. You should be treated like an adult, because you are one.
The tricky thing about respect is that a person has to earn it. Being a certain age, achieving a certain accomplishment, or having an extraordinary experience doesn’t automatically result in a person receiving greater respect. That person has to prove he or she is deserving of respect.
You may feel frustrated this summer by the immaturity of people around you. You may feel frustrated by the way your parents treat you. You may wish that people would start treating you with greater respect, because you did just graduate from high school.
Remember the people around you still see you as you. In their eyes, you are still the same person. Earning more respect from others takes time. You must consistently demonstrate you have matured. Until others see you have changed, they will not treat you any differently.
For example, your parents are constantly checking in on you. Maybe your mother asks you to vacuum the carpeted floors in the house. Throughout the day, she is constantly checking on your progress. You feel slightly insulted and fairly frustrated, because her questions make you feel like a child. You don’t need her to check in on you.
From your mother’s perspective, you’ve failed to complete this task before. Maybe you kept on forgetting to vacuum or continue to procrastinate for days. She remembers your past failures, and she’s trying to prevent you from failing again. Until you demonstrate you can complete tasks without her reminders, she will probably keep on checking on your progress. Only after consistently doing tasks without reminders will your mother realize you don’t need her to check in on you.
Lie #10: You should know what you are doing with your life.
Before graduation, at graduation, and after graduation—you are being asked the same questions over and over. What are you doing after high school? Where are you going to college? What are you majoring in? What do you want to do with that major? Maybe you don’t mind these questions, or maybe they’ve started to frustrate you.
Very few high school graduates truly know what they want to do with their lives (which is completely fine by the way). Some graduates know what they want to do next, and others are still trying to figure out if college is right for them. Right now you may feel like you can rattle off an answer to each one of those typical questions, but as time goes on you may feel less certain of your path forward. Doubts or second-guessing your decisions is a common experience for most college freshmen.
The reality is that you are still discovering who you are, what you are good at doing, and what you enjoy. You will only learn what you’re doing with your life by getting some experience and taking some classes. If you don’t know what you are doing with your life right now, you are not alone. Part of adjusting to adulthood is realizing how little you have control over and how much you still have to figure out. You don’t have to have all the answers right now.
As you wait on your college start date, recognize thinking that is based on these lies. Combat this thinking, so that you enjoy the time before college starts and work on areas where you need to grow. Prepare for the journey ahead by refusing to let these lies hold you back!
