How Owning Up to Your Mistakes Transforms Your College Experience
She turned to me and said, “I don’t appreciate your comment. It was unkind and hurtful.” I was stunned to be honest. I had no idea that I had so deeply hurt her feelings. Thankfully my first response was to apologize genuinely.
Maybe you can readily identify with my scenario—you said something you regret and unknowingly hurt another person. But how do you automatically respond? Is your first reaction to blame someone or something? Or do you instead take personal responsibility?
Maybe your first semester of college was filled with many mistakes. Most days you felt like you couldn’t do anything correctly. Now that second semester is here, you’re worried that you will repeat your mistakes. Transform your college experience by owning up to your mistakes.
4 Reasons Owning Up to Your Mistakes Transforms Your College Experience
1. Owning up to your mistakes provides a clean slate.
You want your second semester to start off well. You don’t want to make the same poor decisions. How can you start second semester off on the right foot? Own up to your mistakes!
Taking the initiative to deal with your problems is important. It’s actually a sign of maturity that characterizes adulthood. It’s easy to blame others in order to get out of a tight spot. It’s easier to point to someone else rather than to point the finger at yourself.
By refusing to own up to your mistakes though you are only postponing the conclusion that you are the problem. Poor decisions always result in painful consequences. Always. Those consequences may come later in life, but they will come.
Owning up to your mistakes deals with the real issue—you. Other people may have been at fault too, but you can’t control other people. You can only control you, and by admitting you were at fault you are freeing yourself.
You are now free to start again with a clean slate, a new beginning, and second semester is the perfect time to do this. Don’t carry baggage from last semester into this brand new start. Own up to your mistakes and begin afresh.
2. Owning up to your mistakes provides accountability.
The thing about owning up to your mistakes is that it usually requires some apologizing. Whether you have to apologize to a teacher for cheating or to a roommate for stealing food, you have to express you were wrong to a person. While this can be humbling (more on this later), it can also lead to a wonderful second semester.
Once you’ve admitted you’re wrong to that person, that person can be a form of accountability. So, what exactly is accountability? Accountability is the idea that you admit responsibility and expect to give an account for your actions. If that person sees you “acting out” again, she has earned the right to say something to you.
For example, let’s say you made the habit of sleeping the day away in college to the point that your roommates felt they could never get anything done in the room. At the beginning of this semester, you apologize for demanding your roommate be quiet so you could sleep every afternoon for hours. Your roommate now has the knowledge that you know you were wrong and that you want to change. Your roommate also now has the right to confront you saying, “Hey, remember when you said you weren’t going to do this anymore? What happened?”
So, somebody else knowing your faults has its advantages, the best one being that person can keep you accountable.
3. Owning up to your mistakes provides humility.
Being humbled is rarely enjoyable and is often embarrassing. No one likes to be wrong or admit being wrong, but if you own up to your mistakes this is what you’re doing. Most likely this is the reason most people don’t own up to their mistakes—they don’t like being humbled.
While the process itself can be unpleasant, the results are entirely worth it. Not only does it remind you that you still have room to grow, but it also keeps you in check when you want to make foolish decisions.
When a freshman enters second semester, that person usually has more confidence and know-how. After all, you’ve been here before, but what can also happen is that you get an inflated view of yourself.
You forget that first semester person with knocking-knees. You become over-confident. Going to a party the night before a paper is due? No problem. Pulling an all-nighter again? Been there done that. What you might fail to remember is how badly this behavior hurt you last semester. Your grades suffered more long term and you struggled to catch up on sleep.
Owning up to your mistakes required eating some humble pie. Even though it had an unpleasant flavor, it resulted in a clearer picture of yourself.
4. Owning up to your mistakes provides awareness.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.” I’m going to borrow this quotation to illustrate a point: if you forget from where you came, you will lose sight of who you are. While there’s nothing wrong with having big dreams for your future, be alert that you are still learning from your mistakes.
By owning up to your mistakes, you are helping yourself be aware. You’ve messed up and you’re not beyond making the same mistake again. However, true change from your past behavior takes hard work and won’t come without sacrifice.
This semester make intentional plans to change. Be practical about it. If you struggle to get up early every day, make better habits. Go to bed earlier. Plan on getting breakfast with a friend a few days a week. Do whatever it takes to change.
Then share your desire to change with others. Let them know your struggles to wake up and ask for their help. Ask them to call or text you. Tell them every time you fail. Be honest and transparent.
Last, determine to change regardless of the obstacles. If you’ve ever tried to get back into shape, you know that some days you just won’t feel like exercising. On these days, instead of doing a 30 minute routine, try exercising another way for 15 minutes. But whatever you do, don’t give up.
Owning up to your mistakes helps you be aware. You know that you could easily fall into bad habits again. So, don’t forget your past but don’t let it define you either.
I looked at my friend and I said, “I am so sorry that my words were so hurtful. I tend to say things before thinking about how others may perceive them. I was wrong to say that. Will you forgive me?” After those words escaped my mouth, I could hardly believe I handled myself so well. It felt like another person said them.
What I learned that day is that owning up to my mistakes made for a fresh start, provided accountability, increased my humility, and provided awareness. I never would’ve learned this any other way other than by owning up to my mistake.
