How to Balance School and Life During Your Freshman Year of College
No matter what I do it feels like I’m failing in one way or another. Although I love teaching, I get weary of the scope of it. If I’m too tough, students dislike me and feel unmotivated to learn. If I’m too lenient, students take advantage and don’t benefit or grow as they should. Finding the balance is tough.
You probably struggle to find balance too. If you study too much, you feel “burnt out.” If you study too little, your grades suffer and you get behind. If you pull an all-nighter night after night, you can’t stay awake in classes. If you don’t push through some nights, you have to turn in assignments late and risk losing valuable points. How can you find balance?
I’m still trying to figure this out myself. As someone who has tried many different approaches, I can’t tell you there’s a one-size-fits-all solution, but I can tell you about a few things that have helped me.
Set boundaries.
It might not seem possible, but you can actually complete everything you need to get done within the school day. Most of the time, you can avoid the all-nighters and early morning hours studying. How is this possible?
Stick to a fixed schedule: You need to have a point at which you call it quits, you close the textbook, and you take a break from schoolwork. You may need to set small breaks in the day. You may need to set aside certain afternoons or days in which you can relax. Find what works for you, but always give yourself a quitting time.
Say no to opportunities: Every time you say “yes” to one thing, you are saying “no” to something else. This is reality, because you only have a limited amount of time. You have to be picky about how you spend that time. Sometimes saying “no” means passing on really good opportunities. While it might be painful in the present, it allows you to do more in the future.
Recharge your batteries: Recharging looks different for different people. If you recharge by being alone, you may need to spend a quiet night reading a book or watching a movie. If you recharge by being around others, you might need to be the one to take the initiative and invite friends to go on a hike or invite some friends over for a game night. You need to find what helps you recharge so that you can keep going. (This also means ignoring other people who might criticize you for recharging by being alone or going out. Even if they don’t get what works for you, you need to recharge in a way that works for you.)
Aim higher than can.
This is one of my biggest takeaways from my undergraduate years: “I can” and “I should” are two different things. I can skip lunch and study more for a class, but should I? I can go off campus with some friends instead of spending time on a big project due tomorrow, but should I?
You likely face similar dilemmas. Just because you can make it work doesn’t mean you should. Even if you can function on less than 4 hours of sleep, you shouldn’t be consistently getting 4 hours or less of sleep. Even if you can cram the night before a test and do alright, you shouldn’t make this your regular studying method.
So how can you get out of this mindset and set yourself up to succeed long-term? Before doing something ask yourself these questions:
When does this have to be done by? That task may need to be done, but does it need to be done now? Can you delay that task until later today or tomorrow? In other words, you may be able to “procrastinate on purpose.”
How will completing this task impact me later? If completing this task will take a burden off your shoulders, do it! Don’t put it off if it will help provide you with some relief. If completing this task will distract you from something more pressing, delay it. You can complete it later without taking away from something more urgent and important.
Will completing this task now mean sacrificing my health? Less sleep means less focus, less energy, etc. Skipping a meal means the same. It’s often better to accept a poor grade on a low-point assignment than to sacrifice your short-term health. (Within reason, this applies to socializing too. Sometimes a night with friends can be the boost you need to finish your homework.)
Stress less about balance.
Study hacks, waking up at 5 a.m., and going on 3 mile runs daily can sometimes be harmful habits. How? These tricks can sometimes distract from what matters—learning what works for you by trial-and-error.
Accept that this journey to “balance” is a process. You will make mistakes. You will have to turn over a new leaf. You will have to admit to yourself that you tried something and it didn’t work. You will have to get back up after a miserable failure.
Perfectionists, like myself, can have a hard time with this. Rather than “mastering the system,” you have to put aside the high standards you or others set for you. You have to accept that there will be rough patches and you will miss the mark, but you can always start again.
No productivity hack will solve all your problems forever. Something that worked in the past might not work for you anymore. That’s ok. So how do you learn to let go of your sometimes too high of expectations? Here are a few suggestions:
Speak kindly to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up repeatedly for mistakes. Don’t punish yourself a second time or third time for a mistake. (The natural consequences will do that enough.) Instead, mentally dust yourself off and try a new approach. Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader.
Accept failure as part of the process. If this isn’t clear yet, failing is part of your college experience. If you don’t fail now, post-college life will be very disappointing. Though your aim shouldn’t be failing, you shouldn’t be surprised by it either.
Remember people are more important than tasks. This should go without saying, but people matter more. If you’re task-oriented (like myself), you can sometimes forget the big picture of college—developing as a person. People have a way of revealing areas that need growth or improvement. If you never interact with people, you’re going to have a hard time growing as a person.
Finding balance is a journey with winding bends in the road. No path works perfectly for everyone. You need to find a system that fits you, but finding that system will mean trial-and-error. You won’t get it perfect after your first attempt to be more balanced. It’s hard work, but it’s worthwhile work.
