How to Invest in Your Child During the Summer Between High School and College
This summer can slip by you. Before you know it, you’re moving them in the dorms and saying a tear-filled goodbye. Don’t let this time go to waste.
This summer can also be one of the best times in your parent-child relationship. It can be a time of great and meaningful investment.
Below are 3 ways you can invest in new and (maybe even) more meaningful ways in your high school graduate’s life!
Make time for life conversations.
These kinds of conversations can be awkward, even when they’re not manufactured. Your recent high school grad may feel hesitant or slightly embarrassed to have life conversations (e.g. what do I believe about…?)
While deeper topics may feel unnatural to talk about with your child, they don’t have to be taboo topics. Encouraging your freshman to think about the deeper life questions will help prepare them for college and life after college.
So what are some things you should consider chatting about this summer?
Beliefs—Whether you’re religious or not, your child will be challenged with other belief systems when they go to college (even a religious university). Having open and honest discussions about deeper life questions (e.g. Why am I here?) may help your child start thinking about the “why” behind the way they interact with the world around them.
Morals and Lifestyle Choices—Similarly, this topic area can be new territory for a young adult. Up to this point, much of their moral compass has been shaped by their parents. While some high school grads have already wrestled through these ideas, many haven’t considered what they are and are not okay with or what they do and do not agree with. This is an important area for them to consider.
Relationships—Romantic, family, and regular friendships are important for your child to think about. Why do they spend time with the people they do? Up to this point, they’ve mostly chosen friends based on proximity. Once they reach college, their circles will be broader. Considering why certain people make good friends and others don’t, what kinds of influences they want in their life, and how to be a good friend can help your child to succeed at college.
How do you help these conversations happen? Forcing them isn’t likely to go over well, but allowing them to naturally arise may help them happen. At some point, however, consider simply broaching these deep topics—even though they might be a little awkward initially.
Make time for having fun together.
The summer can come and go without having much time with your high school grad. It’s easy to let this time slip away from you.
Intentionally setting aside time to spend one-on-one time with your child will not be something that you regret when the start of college arrives.
How can you plan for having fun together? Here are some ideas for planning one-on-one fun…
Make a meal together—Instead of making dinner or picking up dinner on your own, make your child part of the process. Ask for their input. Allow them to put their own spin on it. Have fun with it.
Do errands together—Need to run to the grocery store or the hardware to pick up an item? Ask your child to come along with you. Ask them what they think, which option they’d choose, etc. Show you value their input and enjoy spending time with them.
Enjoy the outdoors together—Take some time outdoors to sit, walk, hike, whatever. Enjoy this time together by just enjoying each other’s company.
Get ice cream together—Plan for an intentional “date” where you just get to spend individualized time with your child. Take them to get ice cream or a frappuccino. Show them you care by doing something small they enjoy.
While planned trips and family vacations can be filled with fun memories, often the sweetest memories you have with your child occur doing mundane ordinary things. (This is also when most meaningful conversations happen.)
Make time for dreaming about the future.
Your child’s future is yet to be determined. Their potential is great, so not why dream about that bright future together?
Caution: You’ll be tempted to dream for your child, not with them. Don’t. Allow these times of dreaming to be a time where you encourage potential and explore possibilities they desire.
What should you dream about with your freshman?
Potential career paths—Even the idea of a career is foreign to your soon-to-be college freshman. Exploring the possibilities by connecting your child with professionals in specific fields can help your freshman visualize the future more clearly.
Potential responsibilities—Your child’s life will change dramatically in the next several years. They may find themself meeting their future partner. They may find themself owning a home, buying a car, etc. Taking some time to identify where they want to be or who they want to be can be freeing and exciting. Taking some time to plan how to get there can also be very helpful.
Dreaming with your child can help them receive the guidance or encouragement they may need, but it can also help you feel part of the process.
This newer stage of parenting might look and feel much different, but it is an exciting stage to witness. You can come alongside your child and advise. You can step back and encourage. You don’t have to solve every problem or know every answer. You lend a helping hand as the “baby bird” flies the coop to exciting new horizons.
